Maternal grandfather and mother's experiences growing up
Allen relays her mother's recollections about her father, Ransom Barbour, and of her childhood in near Four Oaks, North Carolina, during the 1910s and 1920s. Ransom Barbour had great aspirations for his daughter's education and potential for social mobility; however, his death from tuberculosis in 1927 prevented her from entering high school. Allen describes the tensions her mother had with her stepmother and in living with various relatives following her father's death, describing how she had to help out on family farms, rather than pursue an education.
Citing this Excerpt
Oral History Interview with Ethelene McCabe Allen, May 21, 2006. Interview C-0314. Southern Oral History Program Collection (#4007) in the Southern Oral History Program Collection, Southern Historical Collection, Wilson Library, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
Full Text of the Excerpt
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
-
Did your mother remember her father, Ransom Barbour?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
Oh yes.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
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What did she remember about him?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
That he was a kind man, and he was a good man and he was he would give
them good advice about how to behave, philosophy, he really could - I
remember things she would say that he told her. He had great hopes for
her. He wanted her to go to school and be a stenographer. That was his
hopes for her, but he died and she didn't have the
opportunity to even attend high school. She had to - she would
have had to gone away to high school and they
couldn't do that. She couldn't walk that far, so
she had no way of going to high school.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
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Why a stenographer?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
Well, secretaries, stenographers, it was upward mobility
[Laughter] in his opinion and he had
ambitions for her. She learned very easily in school and her older
sister didn't.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
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I didn't know that about Grandma.
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
She could learn very easily. She made good grades in school, so he had
hopes for her and too, she was the kind-natured kind, where her sister
was a little bit on the, she could have some little
[Laughter]
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
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Go ahead.
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
What do you call it? She could be mean to mama once in awhile and enjoy
it. [Laughter] Spiteful, sometimes, where
mama didn't have a bit of bad in her.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
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What did your mother remember about her stepmother?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
Well, she remembered that she resented her in the early part of her -
but she said she blamed that on relatives. They would talk about her,
call her lazy and things like that, because she didn't get
out and work on the farm like most people did, and she would take a nap
after lunch and things like that, and she put those little children
standing on stools to wash dishes and things like that. Aunt Nellie and
Mama. Mama washed dishes from the time she can remember. Five years old,
she was on a little stool washing dishes or drying them, at the - I
don't know - probably at the table then with a dishpan
because they didn't have running water or heated water, they
had to heat it on an old wood stove. So they poured it in a dishpan and
washed them at the kitchen table. They didn't have sinks and
things like they do now, or like we did when we were growing up. But
they would talk about her and of course that influenced mama, so mama
resented her and didn't like her, but she realized after she
got grown that that she was really good to the children. Course she
didn't care about them like she did her own, but she was good
to them, she said. She was fair and good to them and she could have - if
it hadn't been for the influence of relatives or if they had
had more positive influence she could have probably thought a lot of her
stepmother and she did go visit her a lot after - or she
didn't visit any of her relatives a lot except her sister,
Aunt Nellie. She would go visit her. Her stepmother in her later life
had TB and went to a sanatorium down at Wilson and was there for a year
or so and we did go visit her there after I was married. I went with
mama and I think Leonard and I went with mama and Aunt Nellie, took them
down there to visit her stepmother, so she did appreciate her stepmother
in her later life, what she'd done for her.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
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Do you remember the stepmother?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
Just barely, cause I didn't see her that much, just just
barely. I remember visiting there and I remember her second children by
her second husband were close to my age. I enjoyed visiting them and
talking with them and the youngest one was, I think she majored in
languages in college. She had a thing for languages.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
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Do you remember which languages?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
She studied a lot of languages. I can't remember if it was
German and different kinds. French and Spanish of course was standard. I
think she studied German too and maybe something else. I
don't know. But she was very interested in languages.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
-
Now, when your grandfather died, Ransom Barbour, the stepmother got
remarried to somebody else. Did your mother and your aunt Nellie
continue to live in that household?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
Oh no. No. When their daddy died and possibly before their daddy died,
they were moving around some, staying with relatives. His sisters, or
some of the relatives, aunts and uncles that would keep them. They
continued to do that until Aunt Nellie got married at a very young age.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
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How old was Nellie when she got married?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
And she might have married before her daddy died. I'm not
sure. I almost believe she married before her daddy died. He always said
he couldn't tell her anything, she was hardheaded.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
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How old was she when she got married?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
I almost believe she was fifteen and her husband was eighteen when they
got married.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
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And that was Alton Jones?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
She married Alton Jones, and his parents - they all lived together in
the same house. Eddie Jones, and his mother was Betty Roberts Jones.
Very nice lady, as goodhearted good lady as you'd ever want
to meet. Fine lady.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
-
But your - who did your mother live with after her father died?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
She lived with different ones. She lived with Uncle Will Wallace for
awhile, that was married to Mary Barbour and had three girls, Lucille,
Lula, and Louise. Seem like there was, oh well, I can't
remember. But she grew up with those girls and she
worked on the farm there but she knew she didn't belong to
the family. They would - if she didn't do like they said,
they would tell her, if you don't do like we say now,
we'll send you to an orphanage. They would threaten with
sending her to an orphanage, so she lived in fear of not being wanted.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
-
And how long do you think she lived there?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
I don't know. Probably not that long. And I think she stayed
with different ones. As they needed her she would go and stay with
different ones, but she stayed longer with the uncle, Will, I think.
- BARBARA C. ALLEN:
-
Would she go to stay and work on their farm?
ETHELENE McCABE ALLEN:
Oh she worked on the farm, she worked on the farm and maybe if another
one got sick or something she would be there, helping them out, but she
didn't do as much cooking. They kept her out in the fields
working. She washed dishes, she said she always got the job of washing
dishes, but she worked in the fields more than she did in the house.
They would do the cooking and she'd work in the fields.