Impact of American secular and Christian values on Dalal's children
Dalal resisted attempts by American Christians to change her Hindu beliefs, arguing that her faith is superior. She maintains that Hinduism embodies Indian culture and reflects Indian legacy. Although Dalal instilled Hindu values in her children, she nonetheless expresses her frustrations with the transformative power and pull of American culture. This overwhelming American influence represents a recurring theme in the interview.
Citing this Excerpt
Oral History Interview with Chandrika Dalal, July 22, 1999. Interview K-0814. Southern Oral History Program Collection (#4007) in the Southern Oral History Program Collection, Southern Historical Collection, Wilson Library, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
Full Text of the Excerpt
- ANDREW JILANI:
-
Yeah. That's good-, er… good point. Tell me what is
best about your culture, about your traditions? Give some examples,
and—.
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
-
Morality—.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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Morality?
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
-
Yes. You know? You don't (are not) of people, but-, afraid of
God. (That) if you do something wrong, you (are) punish(ed) by God. In
Indian philosophy we believe, (that) if you do something wrong, next
time you birth (are born)-, you born in this earth-, you have to pay for
this. Whatever-, you do something wrong-, hurt somebody-, that born with
you, related with you, [unclear] hurt you
back. So-, you have to pay.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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Uh-huh. This morality is one. What other traditions—?
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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Without-, without marriage-, you know-, you don't have a sex.
If you have a child-, need to be father's name. Without
marriage, no sex-, and-, after marriage, you have a children, you have
to take responsibility as a parent. Not like American(s) (that) oh, just
a-, weekend, Christmas card, or birthday card, and-, just in the summer
time stay with father or mother, or something like that, and fight for
divorce or some-, fight for children-, child custody, or-, all this
stuff. And hurts [unclear] feelings. Child
is so important. If you give birth (to) your child, you take completely
hundred percent responsibility-, as a parent—father and
mother. Children need both!
- ANDREW JILANI:
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Hmmm…. Children need both. That's true.
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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You know? And until, parents (are) together-, child have a better life.
Children don't run away from house, like here. Children need
protection, children need a guidance-, children need a love, children
need a trust.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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So, with these values and with these traditions which you hold very
dearly, how did you raise your two daughters?
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
-
I try my best, but-, you know. When I learn psychology in India, they
say, after generation—your parents or
grandparents—is come up from the generation-,
you're a family. But sometimes, atmosphere is so strong,
it's not (doesn't) work-, like in this country. My
both daughter(s)-, my older daughter, here-, when she is (was) two years
old-, so this culture, and that American friends-, changed the values.
They don't respect Indian culture or Indian values, because
they are thinking American way, because they (are) raise(ed) here. They
have friend(s) like that, and all friends' parents are
divorced and separate(d), that impression on that (their) mind, is
different. And changed their thinking. And-, (sigh) until she is with
me. She listen(s) about our religious stories. About Rama and
Mahabharat, or Geeta, or something.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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Mahabharat?
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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Yeah.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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What is-, what is Mahabharat?
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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It's a-, it's war between two family(ies), about
right and wrong.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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Okay.
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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And-, always truth is a winner.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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Uh-huh.
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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And-, that('s) the story.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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Okay.
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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So, every time—.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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Do you want to tell the Story? Can you tell the story?
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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Ahm….. it is so big (a) story.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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It's a big—. [Laughter]
Okay.
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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But it is big-, fight-, war between truth-, and wrong.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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Okay. Uh-huh.
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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One people believe in the truth, and honesty-, and noble, and everything.
Other peoples (are) liar(s), and cheater(s), just want to take
somebody's-, property, and somebody's-, you
know—. It is not belongs to you, but you just want to just
take it!
- ANDREW JILANI:
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Uh-huh. Okay.
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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It is between two families. But there is a-, values-, in the end of
this-, war. Truth is (the) winner.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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Truth is winner. Uh-huh.
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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So—. They keep (lead) you to believe, (that) lie is not always
(a) winner. Truth is a winner. And if you-, keep faith in the god, God
help(s) you. That is the reason. In Ramayan, ideal king, an ideal
husband, ideal father.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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That's the-, the philosophy for this teaching?
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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Morality.
- ANDREW JILANI:
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Morality.
- CHANDRIKA DALAL:
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You are king, you still respect your religious, your society rules, and
your family's rules, and everything. You just
don't say (that) it is not your business. If you stay in the
family, you have a family rules, if you stay in a country, you have a
country rules. If you go in religious, they have
some rules for you, and you have to follow that rules. Because that is
the life. You are (a) human being. You have a sense to understand right
and wrong. So when you listen (to) your religious stories, the stories
teach you, what is right and what is wrong. So—.