Challenges faced as a single mother in graduate school
Lane eventually entered the Ph.D. program where she discovered that as a widow and a single mother, she had several disadvantages compared to her male comrades who had wives who worked and cared for the children and the house. She describes here how she overcame those obstacles.
Citing this Excerpt
Oral History Interview with Mary Turner Lane, September 9 and 16, 1986; May 21, 1987; October 1 and 28, 1987. Interview L-0039. Southern Oral History Program Collection (#4007) in the Southern Oral History Program Collection, Southern Historical Collection, Wilson Library, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
Full Text of the Excerpt
- MARY TURNER LANE:
-
Well, it was moving into a new role. A role that I had never been
conditioned for. That moved it, I suppose, into a kind of career without
really putting a label on it. But it was a shifting of roles, or a
shifting of career vision perhaps, that I really found very
frightening.
- PAMELA DEAN:
-
Perhaps it was in part an admission that perhaps you were not going to
marry, that you were going to have a career, that your life was not
going to go along those traditional lines.
- MARY TURNER LANE:
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That could very well be it.
- PAMELA DEAN:
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A closing of doors as well as an opening.
- MARY TURNER LANE:
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Yes, that's true. I certainly saw it as an opening with an
access to the university in a variety of ways. So there's a
basic social interaction quality in me that sort of has always pushed me
out toward people. So that to be able to be in a different social
setting was all right. I didn't mind the apprehension
connected with that. That was all right. I was accustomed to meeting
different people, but it was the work part of it that I found difficult.
But after four years, the dean that had asked me to take the job, asked
me what I intended to do with my life. Now this was a man who was truly very helpful. This was the Dean of the
School of Education, Dean Arnold Perry. He was the one who had hired me,
who had said, "you have qualities found in your liberal arts
education at Salem that are appropriate for teacher education."
He was the one that had read my Master's comprehensive, so he
knew what I had done academically. I had taken a course with him, and
the school of education was so small that it was easy to know the people
and for them to know you. So his comment really was an interesting one,
that with your liberal arts background from Salem plus your
Master's in education from here, you have a strong background
to offer a broader perspective to teachers.
- PAMELA DEAN:
-
Let me ask you, for your Master's, did you have to do some
sort of thesis?
- MARY TURNER LANE:
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No, we didn't do a thesis. We wrote a comprehensive exam,
which was a sort of six-hour exam. We had term papers in every course,
and he would have read those, the ones that I had done for him.
- PAMELA DEAN:
-
I just wondered if there was some reason in your project that you had
focused on.
- MARY TURNER LANE:
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No. So he was the one who said if you really want to stay in a university
setting you really have to have a doctorate, and then went to say that
there were scholarships available. He told me about the Danforth
Foundation fellowship. If you were at a certain point in a doctoral
program, that was open to you. I applied. He wrote a recommending
letter. To my great surprise I got it. I read the letter which came to
my home, folded the letter up, put it in the
envelope, and put it in the drawer because I wasn't sure it
was real. Two days later I took it out, and it still said the same
thing.
It was a very good scholarship. It was for twelve months tuition at your
academic institution—wherever you were going to get the
doctorate—and then a stipend for twelve months. I had been
accepted at Duke University so I could continue living—I was
not enough of a risk-taker to move to New York and go to Columbia or to
go to some other place. But I could go to Duke. So I had twelve months
work there. Then two years back here working. I had twelve months of
academic study there.
Two years back in Chapel Hill with my regular job at Carolina, taking
courses at night and in the summer at Duke. Finally, I realized as I was
leaving a class with four or five of the men graduate students at Duke,
who were taking the courses with me, that every one of them was going to
begin work on his dissertation that summer and not work the following
year, because everyone had a wife who was working. And here I was with
no wife, working, with no time to do a dissertation.
- PAMELA DEAN:
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Supporting a child.
- MARY TURNER LANE:
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No time to do a dissertation. I was a single parent and single
wage-earner, and how in the world I could ever do a dissertation, I
don't know.
- PAMELA DEAN:
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Please, tell me how you did it.
- MARY TURNER LANE:
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My mother-in-law looked at me one day and said to me,
"There's something wrong, Mary. Your face smiles,
but your eyes don't." I thought that was very
observant and very perceptive. I went back to the
dean and he told me about another scholarship, the Southern Funds
Dissertation Fellowship. If you had your topic, it had been accepted,
the first chapter written, then you would be subject to that. So I got
that and had another year off. Of course, each of these years with
stipends—when I say a stipend I mean something like
$200 a month or something so small you could just get by on
them. I got by because I still had this pension. I had the social
security, the child support from that. So I could manage.
- PAMELA DEAN:
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Just cover from month to month and not much else?
- MARY TURNER LANE:
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Oh no, you didn't put aside much in savings, and I was living
in rented housing, always.