But as to the express injuncture of
Papa
I should have preformed it but for reasons which I rendered to him in my letter
dated as well a I remember the 12
th of July and which I
hope will not fail to prove satisfactory. . . You mentioned in your letter that
I have erroneously conjectured that
Papa
has
2 not the same
paternal love for me as he has for the rest of his children
yes my Brother it is a conjecture which I fear
is founded on fact. but every exertion shall be made by me to conciliate his
affection and to eradicate that something I know not what that keeps me from an
equal share of my Fathers affection.
Page 2
I know that
you have feelings not callous to sensibility. I appeal to you what must have
been my feelings on my reception at home in may when instead of meeting the
smiles and cordial welcome of the only to whom I had a right to look for
protection I heard my
Father
say that he had a mind to make me leave the place
of my nativity the last place as I thought to which I could flee for refuge and
protection language grows feeble in attempting to express the emotions of my
soul. To have incured the displeasure of a Father would have been sufficient
but to hear him utter these words tutched my heart in a manner ever unknown
before and which I am in hopes it will never be a stranger whilst the almighty
who preserves our lives permits me to breath out this short span of vital air,
but I am glad to say that the conduct of
Papa
towards me while at home was that of an affectionate Father to a dutyful son.
When I left home
Papa
gave me forty five dollars. I paid thirty for board eleven for room rent and
tuition three
Page 3
for bed hire and one I sent to salem
3 last saturday
for candles which has left me completely
unmonied. What I by necessity owe and what I am in actual want of is as follows
|
D |
C |
For the washing of my clothes the present seshion |
4 |
|
For the expences of our last Ball4
|
3 |
50 |
For servant hire |
[1 |
50] |
Borrowed of cousin
Jno R Mason
to bear my expences home |
3 |
50 |
Borrowed of Do
5 to pay
for the hire of my horse |
6
|
50
|
|
19 |
|
I sent my receipts from
Stith
Rhea
and
Barbee
6 for tuition
board room rent and library hire in my letter to
Papa
.
I mention this not [to] jog the memory of
Papa
but for fear that the letter wh[ich] I wrote him may get miscarried. I am in
daily want of this money particularly Cousin
John
Masons
who is in want of it himself I wish
Papa
to send me some extry money when he sends the above. I would be obliged to you
to tel him what you think I could do with as you have lived here as a student
and must know what is necessary. I wish
Papa
to send me a pair of course shoes. . . .
Page 4
give my
love to
Papa
to Sister
Lucy and
Martha
7 tel them I
intend writing to them soon. I remain as ever your affectionate Brother