A few days ago I was gratified by the reception of a long letter
from you. I had long since reckoned your name on my list of confirmed
delinquents but if you will promise to do better in future I will erase it. It
does seem as you say there is a strange fatality attending our correspondence
for your letter in reply to mine from
Columbus has never reached me. I am pained to see you
so much disposed to melancholy because I am in the same condition myself &
consequently unable to offer consolation. I cannot say that I percieve any
light ahead. Those old wiseacres who during the war were always crying out,
"Never mind Boys, keep a good heart. You know the darkest hour is just
before day" have disgusted me with hope. I believe the only way to be
happy now is to content ourselves with the old aphorism that "whatever is,
is right"
2 and endeavor to make the best of it. To day I know I am
comfortably seated in a pleasant room before a cheerful fire, and outside all
is cold & disagreeable the ground being covered with snow & sleet. I
can remember the time when it was different, when I had nought but the ground
for a bed and rocks for a pillow, and in this I percieve a blessing. But the
blessing ends here and my limited vision is incompetent to pierce the thick
darkness further. The future of
the South is
to me a mysterious horror and I decline to contemplate it. My imagination has
not even yet shaped my own future but awaits
Page 2
the
development of events. In College I am persuing an irregular course which
comprises all the studies of the Senior & Junior classes with the exception
of the Latin & Greek. Having but one year to employ here I thought I would
during that time approximate finishing the whole course as nearly as I could.
The inconveniences of an irregular course which before rendered it
objectionable I now regard as reccommendations. Not wishing to enter into the
struggle for College offices and distinctions the isolation which it affords,
freeing me as it does from the boring calls & interruptions consequent upon
such contests, is particularly agreeable. I am boarding at
Dr.
Malletts
and occupy the office in his yard. All
the
Doctor's
professional books remain in the office furnishing me an
excellent opportunity if I were so inclined to learn something of Medicine. My
present intention however is in favor of "the Law" though I have not
yet fully decided upon that point. Next May I shall turn my back on College
walls forever, & I allow myself the intervening time to arrive at a final
conclusion. You desired me to give you some details in regard to this old place
and I shall endeavor to do so. But I am puzzled to know where to begin. I
suppose however, you would like most to know first if the old Ξ Chapter is
yet alive.
3
I am sorry that I am unable to answer you in the affirmative. Embarrassed by
paucity of numbers & the scarcity of new material she was obliged to
discontinue. We thought it was better she should die with honor than live in
disgrace, rather than place the badge of Δ.Ψ. upon an unworthy member
we surrendered our existence. There are now only two Clubs in College
Ζ.Ψ. & Χ.Φ. As usual in such cases College politics set
them at varience and they are at daggers' points. The number of students in
College is very small
Page 3
not more than seventy five.
Many of them have been soldiers and consequently are not very remarkable for
orderly behavior. Of the old students there are only two besides myself.
Will
Reeves
you no doubt remember. He was from
Tennessee,
in our class and your section.
Jim
Wall
was in the Junior Class & ran for marshall against
Josh Wright
. I was not acquainted with him before but I
like him now very much.
Will Rencher
graduated last June, delivering the
valedictory. The old corps of professors are still retained and all look as
well as ever. They are always glad to hear of their old scholars & take
great pleasure in tracing their whereabouts.
Old Gov.
Swain
during one of his lectures to us last session in speaking of
Judge
Ruffin
mentioned your father & yourself & gave us the reason why
you were called
Ruffin
. In the village there has been considerable change.
Mrs. Hargraves'
dwelling,
Mr.
Carr's store and
Loader's large tailoring establishment adjacent to it,
have been burned to the ground.
4
Loader
himself has for sometime been keeping a boarding house and running the hack
line between this place &
Durham. Old
Mr.
[Charles P.] Mallett
has left his book store & gone to farming. His
store is now
the
Post Office.
Benton
Utley
5
possesses the largest dry goods establishment in town & occupies the stand
formerly owned by
Mr.
Mickle
6
whose circumstances were so much reduced by the war that he was unable to
continue his business. He
(Mickle) is the only one of your Creditors I have yet
been able to see. He at first presented me the account with the first
endorsement, but I told him I thought that probably you would be better pleased
to have him make the estimate for himself and he then added the second.
7
Page 4
Old
Mr.
Mallett
is absent from
the
Hill & will not return in less than a week hence.
Wayne
McDade
has not been living here for some time. He
resides at present in
Wilmington. I have not been able yet to find out the amount
of the accounts with the
Di
Society, but I will do so as soon as I can. If you paid your account you
would be entitled to a diploma it is true, but
the
Society has been so poor since the war that it has been unable to
purchase them and I cannot therefore ensure your getting one. And now in regard
to money which you have sent me I sincerely assure you that you would have
pleased me much better by keeping it in your own pocket until more prosperous
times. I had forgotten that you were in my debt. I am glad that
Willie has become acquainted with you & I hope you
will like him. He is a boy of a warm heart & an affectionate disposition
& I love him earnestly. But he has his faults which I very much deplore
viz, a violent temper & loose notions in regard to the truth of the
revealed religion. The former I have no doubt age & association will
correct, but the latter I fear the studies of his Profession are not calculated
to remove. When religious convictions have not been firmly fixed in ones mind
by long habit or right reasoning the investigations of Physical Science have a
tendency to produce skepticism, and upon
Willie who has not enjoyed the advantages of a liberal
education I am apprehensive of the result. I am no
Christian myself yet I believe in "the plan of
Salvation" as firmly as any Divine, and it seems to me any man would be
miserable who did not. The thought of annihilation is a horrible conception to
me and I had rather exist in eternal punishment than die & be nothing. Now
Good Bye, and let me beg you to lay aside some of your constitutional tardiness
and gratify with an earl[y] reply—Your old friend