I was never more surprised, provoked, &
distressed in my life, than when I found, by accident, this
evening, that
Pa
had been showing letters (to me) of all things on earth the most
sacred. Letters written for my eye alone; & only trusted to my
Father
as an
act of duty; without the least thought that any other than himself should
read them. Unlike myself, he seeks rather than avoid the opinion &
advice of the world. It was enough to have exposed the
first letter, but past comprehension, the second. He was guided by
what he considered best for me, but very much against
my wishes I assure you. It takes from the letters their true value
to have them reduced to matter of fact, as much as to expose to the world's
eye, "the hidden treasures of the heart." The last letter
(in fact neither one does him justice) written in haste amid all the trouble
of real camp life. As to what "people
say"
Pa's
great failing is to care too much, as to
myself but one voice can prevent this "affair," &
that is one higher than man. I am much obliged for your kind
"endorsement," & hope this secret
may be kept.
"The world may scorn me if it will
I care but little for its scoffing."
No, indeed, I have all I desire in most noble heart & mind entrusted
to my keeping. I trust you did not think me so wanting in true refinement
that I would have been willing to allow this exhibition? With assurances of
high regard